There are situations and events that affect how we relate to co-workers, boss, friends, or family members.
Have you ever been in a situation where, you are talking with someone and no matter what you are saying the information is just not translating. It is like there is something blocking your words from the other person understanding what you are saying. That my friend is called communication barriers.
The prophet Isaiah offers some insight as to what these barriers are. This post will explain in detail what they are, with a few practical examples.
“But your iniquities have separated between you and your God, and your sins have hidden his face from you, that he will not hear.” (Isa 59:2, KJV)
Communication barriers are a widespread problem that affect many people daily. Whenever you are relating to people, things happen, and it can affect how we relate. It affects the quality of our relationships and how well information is processed and received by others.
For example, someone said something to you that was very hurtful. This person could be a co-worker or family member. The situation was never resolved. From that day, it is like you look at the person differently. You relate to the person differently. The relationship is not the same. And a barrier is formed between you and the individual after that incident.
To resolve these situations and remove these barriers one must get a clear picture as to how the Bible defines it. Also understanding the tools it provides to remove these barriers altogether.
Unresolved issues
The first definition is unresolved issues that causes separation within a relationship. The verse in Isaiah 59:2 says your iniquities have separated you from God. The keyword here iniquities. This is a sign that things that yourself or another person disagree with can cause a divide in the relationship.
This is something that can happen over time. And it drives a wedge between you and the person. Maybe it’s a behaviour trait. Or the tone in which the person talks to you. Maybe it’s what they say over time. Maybe it’s something that they are doing. So, it could be anything. But the key here, is that this thing drives a wedge between you and another person.
So, it could be unfair treatment and on the job you’re overlooked constantly. What they you’re overlooked for a promotion. It could be a situation where you’re consistently given a lot of work. You are a high performer, but you are not recognized for it at your workplace. Maybe it’s that you go above and beyond for your children and they never appreciate what you do. Or you go above and beyond for your partner, your spouse, whether it be your husband or your wife and they never see.
Another example could be the person does something that you dislike. And no matter how many times you talk about it or point out that you prefer the person not to do this anymore. And they continuously do the same thing with no regard for you. Things like that can cause separation. It can also be something that is so hurtful that you decide to walk away.
These are the things that can cause a barrier between you and somebody. They become barriers because it is unresolved. These unresolved issues cause people to hate or dislike which in turn creates the barrier.
A deliberate decision not to listen
The second definition is a deliberate decision not to listen to or avoid someone. So this is building on the first point. Where the event happened. Or you recognize this issue is taking place and it’s unresolved. Now let’s take it a step further. Because of this issue, you decided to deliberately not to listen to the person until the issue is resolved. That’s also a communication barrier within a relationship.
For example, your spouse is unfaithful. That act of unfaithfulness creates a division within the relationship. Also following the discovery communication is difficult because your trust has been broken. For some persons this type of situation is unforgivable. This is because there’s nothing to resolve as their trust has been violated. There’s nothing the person can say or do in order to regain that trust.
Let’s look at it in context of our relationship between us and God. The prophet Isaiah says sin, the things we do that are not pleasing to God it affects our relationship with him. There’s now a barrier between us and God and he will not hear you until the matter is resolved.
That’s where forgiveness comes in. God made a deliberate effort to restore the broken relationship with humanity. God put a system in place for us to follow to restore broken relationships and remove communication barriers.
Communication barriers impact our interactions with others
In essence, a communication barrier is really a record of wrong that we hold on to. That we use now as a lens to view the relationship between us and a person, or even an organization through. So, it is an issue or an action or event that causes separation between two parties. This issue creates conflict, and it shapes the overall interaction, so the event itself or the issue affects the interaction. So, the communication is more than just speaking and words.
It can cause uncomfortable communication between two parties. Also, the issue can cause one party to respond in a particular way. It’s a record of wrong that causes a person not to hear another person. It can bring you to the place of malice and you don’t talk to people; you cut off communication altogether. Some persons, because of how they’re treated, they don’t do business with a particular entity or person. This is because of their actions and how they do business overall and these are things that can cause barriers between you and people.
How to remove communication barriers
God is not a God of barriers. God is a God of building relationship. And Paul, in his letter to the Corinthians church says God has given us the Ministry of Reconciliation. So forgiveness, reconciling and dealing with the issue becomes a very important aspect of how we deal and treat with the communication barriers.
If we leave the barrier there, It affects how we function, because a part of us shuts down because of this issue. And in some situations how you think.
There’s also a barrier within us
There’s also the barrier that it’s not between us and another person, but within ourselves. Think about this, an event happened. No fault of anybody, but something unfortunate. Because of this event, there’s a barrier within you. And a particular way of acting. Think of somebody crossing the road because of the fear of being hit by a car. The trigger is an event you witnessed years ago. Or you’re just uncomfortable with the situation. For some persons they can’t see what’s coming clearly so they are afraid to do it.
Past events, past memories and past issues can create a barrier between us and our true personality. Where we are either afraid, we become anxious. It’s triggering. But there’s a barrier between our true self, and how we behave currently. There’s a part of us that is protected because we don’t want to be hurt again or we’re trying to preserve ourselves from a repeat of a particular painful memory.
It’s not to say that the issue It’s not there it’s real. But I want to highlight that this barrier exists between your true self and who you are at the moment. So there’s a limiting factor. There’s a barrier between your true personality coming to the surface and who you are at the moment. almost as if there’s a divide and you’re holding yourself back. people have their reasons why they do this. It’s a defense mechanism to deal with past trauma. And this is something that over time should be addressed. By seeking counselling and help.
Conclusion
To end our conversation, I want to remind you that communication barriers does exist. We can identify them by looking at how we interact with our family, friends, co-workers and even strangers. It also affects our relationship with God and even creates a barrier within ourselves.
We also recognize that unresolved issues and making a deliberate decision to avoid and not listen to others are the barriers we create.
I want to encourage you to really look at exploring what communication barriers you have in your life. Look at how it affects how you interact with others. Ask yourself the following questions:
- Are there any separation between myself and:
- My family
- My friends
- My co-workers
- My boss
- God
- Myself
- Are there any unresolved issues that needs to be addressed?
- Do I refuse to listen to a particular type of person?
- Are there activities that I love but don’t do because of past experiences?
- Are there anything in my life that affects my communication with others?
- Do I want to continue this way or do I want to resolve this issue and move forward with my life?
Think about these questions as you go through your day. Until we meet again one love.